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Thread: After the trouble

  1. #1
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    Default After the trouble

    Well, i just wanted to post this cuz i thought ramseys story was really good, and i changed some stuff so it doesn't interfere with spuz's fantastic story. It will seem similar, but well i really wanted to post this

    Rainor was going to enter in the preliminaries of the 2nd festival of ragol, because he got a letter from the Principal saying:

    Dear Rainor,

    Your application was evaluated and we are glad to say that we are accepting you into the battle. Fortunately you were just able to get in by a few months so we are looking forward to see you fight and compete. When you arrive you will be placed into your Sectioned group. Hope to see you soon and good luck.

    Principal Tyrell


    So he heads out into Cydonia City for the second celebrations. On his arrival, he came across the festival which appears to be inhabited by many people, hundreds of thousands all in the high streets, playing carnival games eating candy floss and performing tricks. On entrance he met a HUcast…

    Random HUcast: Halt, you ranger!
    Rainor: get out of my way, or I will kill you.
    Random HUcast: I was only wondering if you would like company to the hotel.
    Rainor: Oh, well, in that case... sorry I was snappy I’ve had a long trip.
    Random HUcast: That's fine. My name is Daggerdead, and I'm one of the testers for the particle fusing project. Ill show you on this game over here-

    Daggerdead starts to create a Razonde but a ball of energy destroys the bottles first.

    Rainor: wow! You can do that? Gah! And you’re a cast! I only have the fire techniques because I grew up in the dead glory of the Dark Dynasty.
    Daggerdead: Most casts in the experiment have blown up though. Even then we can only do the Zonde's and in a rare case a cast named Death did grants.
    Rainor: but, but grants is force only! Wait- could a human participate in this program??
    Daggerdead: well, it’s happened once before. There is a tent for the testers over there.

    Daggerdead and Rainor walk over to the tent labeled "explosive" and walk in. There is a bunch of complicated machines and hard drives everywhere, and hundreds of people and casts alike typing things on computers. One of the lab assistants walks over to Dagger and Rainor.

    Lab Assistant: Sir, we're only looking for casts.
    Lab Manager: Shove off, Frowsky! Can't you see this cast Daggerdead is one of our successful subjects??
    Rainor: I didn't know it was that big of a deal.
    Daggerdead: well, Shinovra you see my friend Rainor wishes to try to learn grants, through casting and experimentation
    Rainor: Casting? That sounds painful. Wait- if only one subject did grants and then exploded, don’t I risk a huge danger?!?!?!
    Shinovra: well, no- but wait- maybe!! Casting will have to come first. Are you willing to have a 99% chance of dieing, Rainor?
    Rainor: Uhh...
    Shinovra: Great! Right this way...

    The Lab Manager leads Rainor over to a big machine labeled "cast parts". Rainor is strapped onto a big seat and lifted into a big machine.

    Rainor: Wait, second thoughts!! My gun goes to Daggerdead, and my really rare Rati I got from the emperor of the Dark Dynasty goes to my twin Rianor the force!!
    Daggerdead: he's as good as dead isn't he?
    Shinovra: well, if he succeeds in this he will be eventually after a lot of training the best overall Ranger in the last decade, possibly ever. But yes, he is.

    The big machine is turned on, Rainor screams in agony as cast parts are inserted inside his body. The machine replaces the more frail parts of a human with metal, and all the bones are replaces with identical titanium photon boosted parts.

    Rainor: RAGAGGGAGAGHHH!!!!
    Daggerdead: ...
    Shinovra: Oh my God! What have I done!!
    Rainor: AAAAGGggghhhh..

    The machine stops and Rainor is lifted back down, amazingly alive. The Lab Manager checks his pulse, which is dieing, then thumps his heart a few times to get the heart running again.

    Lab Manager: He is alive! The ranger is now a RAmacast!
    Daggerdead: Rainor only had a 5% chance of surviving that... the 30% chance of surviving the cast technique program will be no problem for him then.
    Rainor: I feel like I could climb a mountain!! These parts make me feel so much stronger!
    Lab Manager: Wow! And he is already talking!!
    Daggerdead: Good to see you’re alive.
    Rainor: Oh no!
    Daggerdead & Lab Manager: what?!
    Rainor: My Rati is injured from protecting me from dieing. He needs a Zonde and fast to keep him alive, and that’s taking chances

    Daggerdead summons up a Zonde and hits the red Rati, but he is accidentally hit by the aftershock and gets paralyzed.

    Rainor: Oh Kay.. He's okay but I can’t fight for a while, and neither can you. When do the Oran's fight?
    Shinovra: Don’t worry bout Dagger, I’ll fix him up. *click* All good now.
    Daggerdead: Well, I play a little later with the Greenill’s. The Oran’s are last, so you have some time to get used to your cast strength.
    Rainor: Thanks, Dagger- but how will I fight without my beautiful Rati??
    Daggerdead: You know like nobody has a mag anyway.
    Rainor: But I’ve had Klai my Rati since I was 4!
    Daggerdead: Don’t worry about Klai, Rainor. Just worry about Hellflinger the RAcast with a Mille Maretaux.
    Rainor: *spits out milk* HE HAS A MM!!
    Daggerdead: Afraid he does.
    Rainor: But- But- all I have is a Yasminkov 7000m.
    Daggerdead: Do you think he cares??
    Rainor: Well....

    So Daggerdead and Rainor walk over to the Preliminary rounds to watch the end of the Skykly's before Greenill's. They see two HUmars fighting, over on the field.

    The HUmar starts shouting angrily as he runs towards the other HUmar ready to strike, but just as he strikes the other HUmar vanishes, then reappears behind him out of a black Ryuker. A light then builds up in his hands and within a flash the HUmar is lying unconscious outside the ring. The ref came in and claims the HUmar the winner of the match!

    Daggerdead: Dang! That was crazy!! Turns out the other HUmar wasted himself by violating sanction rule number 83 and telepiping!!
    Rainor: Look, that girl's helping the HUmar off the field. She's a Viridia. Think I could get a date?
    Daggerdead: Maybe. Start by watching me then winning!!

    Daggerdead is called to wait with the other Greenill's on the side of the tournament, and Rainor leaves to sit in the stands. Rainor see's the girl who helped the lost-but-won HUmar off the field. Several battles happen, but then Daggerdead is called to the field.

    Ref: Alright, Daggerdead and Rianor!!
    Rainor: HUNHHH!?!?! Rianor? My twin!! Dagger's gonna get his butt kicked!!
    Xian: You know the force?
    Rainor: You! Zoh my God! I mean- Uhh yeah he's my twin
    Xian: Think you'll win in your session?
    Rainor: Yeah! I have a special secret. But I'll be even better in a few days with my Rati and Grants!!
    Xian: !!What the hell are you talking about- there isn’t any Rati left since the Dark Dynasty!! And… I won't even ask about Grants
    Rainor: That’s me, 17th descendent of Darkstar himself.
    Xian: Oh my- you know Zufoie then??
    Rainor: Doesn't everyone?
    Xian: My God no! Zufoie is an exclusive technique that was used for mass killing around AUW 1975, invented by Darkstar himself
    Rainor: Jeez. So does that mean I'm like the last remaining relative of Darkstar beside my twin Rainor, and Garef my cousin?
    Xian: as far as anyone knows. But don’t tell anyone you’re a descendant of Darkstar around here, because Zufoie killed 9/10ths of the population of Cydonia City in AUW 1976.
    Rainor: okay, thanks. Look, Dagger is getting owned by Rianor!

    The two are fighting very hard. Rianor is using a Talis with very high hit, and Daggerdead is using a Daylight Scar. Daggerdead can't get to Rianor because of the sheer speed of his Gifoie's, so he switches to Razonde instead.

    Rianor: Ha-ha, I’m not going down on you, you silly cast!
    Daggerdead: *razonde* Raggghhh!!
    Rianor: !!!
    Daggerdead: That’s right, who is silly now force!?
    Rianor: Megidus Grantuim!!
    Daggerdead: What? You can’t cast both at once!
    Rianor: Of course I can! I'm the descendant of Darkstar himself!!!
    Daggerdead: Oh my!- uggghhhh ouch. At least the Megid failed…
    Rianor: ZUFOIE!!!
    Daggerdead: Aaagghhh... no...
    Medic: Reverser!
    Ref: Penalty! Penalty!! The burning technique is not allowed!! You are automatically dispelled from the games for violating section 1 of the rules! Leave this place son of darkness!
    Ref: Daggerdead is the winner!!
    Rainor: Oh no...

    So then Rianor is banished from the ring, but on the way out he sees Daggerdead being helped by Rainor.

    Rianor: Rainor? Cool your here too!!
    Rainor: Hey bro. Why'd u try to kill Daggerdead?
    Rianor: I wanted to win... You’ve always beaten me in everything cuz of that infernal Rati you inherited!!
    Rainor: Sorry, bro. Wanna join me and Dagger?
    Rianor: Sure, but well... I’m banished as you might have seen
    Rainor: Ryuker!
    Rianor: Nice man. Where’s it lead to?
    Rainor: The Dark Circle
    Rianor: Kay- ill come back after the competition

    So then after a few hours of Greenill it was Oran time. Rainor was called down with the rest of the Oran’s to the sideline.

    Ref: Rainor and Kia!
    Rainor: Huh? a HUnewearl? You have got to be joking!
    Kia: Aww, I was hoping you might take me out to dinner after this!
    Rainor: if I win I might
    Kia: Why?
    Rainor: Why not?
    Kia: well... see ya after we practically kill each other.
    Rainor: right…
    Ref: FIGHT!!!

    So Rainor and Kia both go at it, Kia mostly using magic though because Rainor's enhanced speed allows him to stay away from melee weapons and shoot with his yasminkov.

    Kia: Hey, Rainor nice gun. Also, how do ya run so fast? *Zonde*
    Rainor: Well, I'm just special. And thanks *shoot*
    Kia: I guess you'll be taking me out to dinner *Gifoie*
    Rainor: yeah... *shoot, shoot, shoot*
    Kia: Ugh I’m out of HP...
    Medic: Reverser!

    So Rainor got a new HUnewearl girlfriend because he beat her. And he ended up taking her to "Tournament for Two" in the city. After a while at dinner Kia tells Rainor she doesn’t have anything to do for a couple months and asks if she could join him after the tournament.

    Rainor: So, how's your cake?
    Kia: Alright, hey can I call you Rai for short?
    Rainor: Sure.
    Kia: Cool! oh yeah and I don’t have anything to do after the tournament so uhh can I travel with you?
    Rai: Yeah that’s cool but I'll have to ask Daggerdead and Rianor.
    Kia: Who are they?
    Rai: Rianor is my twin and Daggerdead is a good friend.
    Kia: Wait, Rianor is that FOmar that almost killed the cast Daggerdead!!
    Rai: Uhh... yeah. They started off on bad terms...
    Kia: Okay, well I'm done you wanna head back? then we can ask Dagger and Rianor!
    Rai: Well, uhh, you see Rianor is sort of in a Ryuker to the Dark Circle..
    Kia: Well we can ask Daggerdead

    So then Rainor and Kia go back to the hotel lobby where they are staying and make a room to talk in. In a little while Daggerdead comes wondering who the second person in the room is..

    Kia: Think Daggerdead will be here soon?
    Rai: Well, he took a harsh spell. he's probably in the medical section...
    Daggerdead: Who's the second person?
    Rai: Daggerdead! Didn't know you were here.
    Kia: Can I join you guys??
    Daggerdead: Whoah, who’s this??
    Rai: Uhh... this is my girlfriend...
    Kia: Can I? Can I Daggerdead??
    Daggerdead: Well I'm fine with that but we'll have to ask Rianor…

    yeh i know its sorta like the part spuz got from ramsey but well... i liek this more lolz

    if it doesn't offend anyone i'll continue the story for him!
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  2. #2
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    This story is very unoriginal and boring. I haven't even read it yet and I already know it is.

    This is MUCH more exciting than it: http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...3/IMG_2471.jpg

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by Skylark
    This story is very unoriginal and boring. I haven't even read it yet and I already know it is.

    This is MUCH more exciting than it: http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a3...3/IMG_2471.jpg
    oh god , I cracked up :P

  4. #4
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    how.... kind and thoughtful. please don't spam my thread, as i am trying not to spam others
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  5. #5
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    Default Re: After the trouble

    Quote Originally Posted by King Kahn
    if it doesn't offend anyone i'll continue the story for him!
    I'd of appreciated you asking me first.

    If you realy want a story make it compoletely and differnt to mine, I dont really want people doing this... so I have one thing to say..

    Bye Bye This whole thread is going to be deleted because you did not ask my permission.

    edit; The reason did not post it like that wa sbecaus eit was any things like the people above said, whiel Imasde many good editations. Because you can tell it wasnt written great.
    Story Thread: http://tinyurl.com/2enuxv -Features:
    [COMING SOON]My PSO Story 2
    Rogues and Bonds (Open RP)
    My PSO Story - Ragol: Destroyed Paradise
    FFDUDE'S Fan Comic
    Knight's Of the Old Republic

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