Hey, kids. My name is Groove Train.
In PSOBB, I was a FONewm with an afro and weird markings on my face. It made my look like a circus clown.
This is the story of the first day I played PSOBB.
It all started in the lobby of Cronus 1, about a year ago.
I appeared near the back of the room, trying to figure out how to play the game.
I was just standing still, but my knees were going up and down, like I was dancing.
So I danced for a while.
But then I figured out how to move, and moved toward a lady with a green outfit in the middle of the room.
Groove Train: Hey, what's your name?
Lady: It doesn't really matter.
Groove Train: Why?
Lady: Because, I am not a major part of this game.
Groove Train: You're a part of the game?
Groove Train: What do you do?
Lady: Well.. uh...
I just stand here.
Groove Train: Wow.
Groove Train: Do you even get payed?
Lady: Uh... uh... shut up.
Lady: So, what can I do for you?
Groove Train: I wanna play this game.
Lady: That's surprising.
Groove Train: So what do I do?
Lady: I don't get payed to answer questions.
Groove Train: You don't get payed at all!
Lady: Exactly. All I can do is teleport you to different rooms.
Lady: there are 3 rooms at the time, I will display them for you.
Groove Train: Too erotic.
Groove Train: Too firey.
Groove Train: Just right.
Within milleseconds, I was teleported into a wild spaceship.
I looked to my left and saw a view of the Earth.
Just at that moment, someone came in the door.
His name was KosmicK, and he was a level 200.
KosmicK: Hey, want some noob items?
Groove Train: Sure, hand them over.
KosmicK: Okay, initiate trade window then.
Groove Train: Okay.
Groove Train: How?
KosmicK: Here, I'll do it for you.
I accepted and two windows came up.
Groove Train: Cool beans.
KosmicK: Here, I'll give you a Broom and a flying cat MAG.
Groove Train: A broom? Are you kidding?
The flying cat seems kinda kewl though.
But I already have a MAG.
KosmicK: OMG YOUR SUCH A NOOB
KosmicK: ... Sorry I just got angry
Groove Train: No problem.
KosmicK: So, accept the trade.
I accepted and the items appeared in my inventory.
Groove Train: WTF.
Groove Train: I can't put on the broom.
KosmicK: Yeah, you gotta put on the flying cat first.
Groove Train: How will that help?
rau3 is joining the game... please wait.
rau3: sup people
KosmicK: Get out.
KosmicK: Just put on the flying cat.
Groove Train: It's not in my inventory!
KosmicK: It's called SATO.
Groove Train: That sounds black.
KosmicK: You sound rascist.
Groove Train: Maybe. So lemme get this straight, I'm a noob, so you give me a broom and a flying cat, expecting me to get better with them on.
But apparently I can't put on the broom myself, I need help from a flying cat. It doesn't even have thumbs!
What if I can't even put my own pants on and when I try to pull them up, I can't, so I ask the flying cat to pull them up for me but he just stares at my weewee and doesn't pull up my pants so I have to walk around this whole game in the NUDE?
He left the room.
So I was stuck there, alone.
Until someone joined.
PEPSI is joining the game, please wait.
PEPSI: hey u got any spare items for me im a noob
Groove Train: Yeah, this guy just gave me some useless stuff. You can have it.
Groove Train: Bring up the trade window thingy.
PEPSI brought it up in seconds, which was a very un noobish act.
Groove Train: Okay, here you go.
I gave my new items to him, but then glanced up at his level.
He was level 89.
PEPSI: SEE U NOOB U JUST GOT SCAMMED
So he ran off, with my broom. I quit PSOBB that day and decided run for president.
I'm Hilary Clinton.