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Thread: World with Me

  1. #1

    Default World with Me

    Hello! I figured I would try my hand at a PSU fanfic to help practice my writing and whatnot. That being said, I would appreciate any constructive criticism and suggestions! Thank you for reading this dusty subforum.

    World with Me


    In a faraway galaxy lies a sun orbited by three planets, the Gurhal System - a place inhabited by humans and their creations, CASTs, Newmen, and Beasts. For 500 years, there was a war among the races, a seemingly neverending conflict. Then, finally, an era of peace and prosperity lasted 100 years, but now a darkness has awoken, and threatens the universe.

    This dark force was battled and defeated. Another era of peace and prosperity arrived, but then soon the universe was washed by a stagnant solitude. The gods and other natural governing forces of the universe had silently fled, all but one. This vessel of the Holy Light knew his destiny was to remain in this neglected place to ensure its continued existence, directing whatever iota of Holy Light to Gurhal. He nailed himself to his cross, becoming the Scape Doll of the peoples' craving for the divine.

    "You listen to the gods, why have they forsaken us?" the people wail. He remains silent.

    The laws of physics themselves have even abandoned the people.

    The effects of evil repeat in the exact same thread - the SEED reappear even though salvation has been achieved hundreds of thousands times over.

    The governing spines of these planets have proved useless and robotic lip service. All they do is make training simulations now, recreations of the past.

    The planets revolve in eternal daylight, people mysteriously vanish without governments and conspiring gangs.

    And those who do not vanish are overwhelmed with the exhaustion of repetition.

    Life is meaningless, rumors of a parallel paradise are naught but a mirage people commit suicide to reach.

    And the Grand Martyr Edward sits in his divine station to this day, praying for the people of this desolate universe.

    Coincidentally enough, I was listening to when writing most of this. Thank you for your time!

    Please forgive the formatting, I have no idea how to insert tabs in the message field that will show up in the message accordingly.
    Last edited by PsychDragoonX; 04-25-2012 at 09:09 AM. Reason: Decided to just double space

  2. #2

    Default Chapter 1

    I will update the chapters as I write them, thanks!

    World with Me

    Chapter I

    "Come again? Are you positive you are not inebriated?"

    "Vini," the rather wrinkled newman set his shot glass on the table, "Just look around. More and more people are literally killing themselves out of boredom. How many 'quitting sales' have you seen this past week alone?"

    Vintrex dusted some invisible dust off his sleeve for a moment too long. "Yes, but still... Secluding yourself without sleep and just... waiting for death does not seem like something you would do. Perhaps something else disturbs you? Is it slow business-"

    "Yeah, I'll tell you what's bothering me. Being the oldest on all three planets and the Colony and no new people. Random bouts of narcolepsy. Nothing to do," he reached for his cane and started to stand up. He took a few steps toward the door sighing, "It's horribly depressing."

    A prolonged silence passed until Vinitrex reciprocated the sigh and brushed a stray strand of navy hair from his glasses. "I... cannot argue that. Such a barren wasteland, this universe."

    He fidgeted with some napkins, hoping that he could somehow weave his anxiety and sympathy into something tangible. Justyn adjusted his monocle. "You know... I'll probably break the record of being the oldest person," he turned and smiled. "This is what I want."

    Another pause was punctuated by returning the smile, albeit a clearly languish one. "I had always thought you would want to go out with a bang - set Moatoob on fire like you always said."

    "Heh, not even going to waste my time finding the photons for that planet of thugs. They'll just procreate a new generation by the time I lock my door."

    A half-chuckle huffed from Vinitrex. "Then a party. You are breaking a record, so we must memorialize this event with such a grandeur that makes that final GUARDIANS graduation party a mere pool of vomit! I think I still have some caterers and entertainers alive, but I do hope that strippers are fine - that's all that remains, do forgive me - and I'll have them roll in a few vats of vodka, just the way you like it. And..."

    Justyn had kept smiling.

    "...And you're laughing at the whole notion," Vinitrex rose.

    "You know me too well."

    "Then I'll let you tell me what I'm thinking," he pushed his glasses into place, maintaining the smile.

    "Oh, just that the purple haired freak is a miracle of science because his hair didn't go white," Justyn smirked.

    "Quite right, something along those lines," Vinitrex flicked a strand of the aforementioned hair and grasped his shoulders. "Want a keg for the road?"

    "You know me too well."

    They shared a laugh and an embrace.

    "And let me tell you what you're thinking now." Justyn cleared his throat and exaggerated his voice, "Ah! But what a shame your final moments in contact with other breathing people won't be spent in a bacchanalian festival suitable to the style of one such as yourself!"

    Vinitrex stepped back and flourished with a bow, "What fate this acquaintanceship begot the friendship that punctuates the proof of the time spent in camaraderie!"

    Justyn chuckled, "You're still convinced that you can teach me words I'll never use. Fortunately for me, I don't have to worry about that for too much longer."

    "I still don't understand. You are quite healthy for an octogenarian. Your mind is still sharp, so it's not like you have to give up Technics."

    "You'll understand one day, you whippersnapper. That is if that apocalypse doesn't happen first."

    "At this rate there will be nobody to fight the zombies that everyone predicts."

    The newman smirked and dug in his robe pockets. "But don't worry, I don't plan to go quietly," he produced an envelope and handed it to Vinitrex.

    Curiosity glinted in his eye, and he made for his desk. He opened the letter and gawked after reading a few lines.

    Your registered 4

    U got guts? U liek wepenz n blood? U fite in ANNUAL MOATOOB FIGHT TOURNAMENT

    You do not talk about ANNUAL MOATOOB FIGHT TOURNAMENT.
    Only 3 Trimates
    No Antimates or Atomizers or other items
    Scape Dolls will be confiscated and returned to you after your matches
    First KO wins

    "Oh good heavens! I didn't think you would stoop so low as to insult me on your farewell," he began to use the letter opener to scratch corrections into the invitation. "Ah, yes. This is the fantastic memorandum to leave with. Have you already posted copies all over the fourth floor?"

    "Not quite yet. I might when I actually intend to," Justyn tried to stifle his chuckling with a smirk.

    The clang of the letter opener reminded Vinitrex who was the brunt of the joke. "You're kidding. Surely you must be. If this were the official invitation, they would have at least hired a newman to proofread this."

    "They couldn't. All of the other newmen must've gotten my same idea and built a monastery in some mountain."

    "All of them?" folding the remains of the letter and stashing away the small knife.

    "Yes, all of them. Something about 'expanding their mastery of Diga' or whatever. You know, some excuse to gain height to turn up their noses and ears at the rest of the organic filth in this unholy universe."

    Vinitrex sighed. "Then explain why you want me to do this foolish thing that will make me look like I crawled back a couple of steps of evolution?" He paced rather frustratedly through a pair of thin doors and unlocked a liquor cabinet.

    "You said you wanted for me to delight myself, right?" A glass shattered and Justyn laughed.

    Some nervous sweeping later, Vinitrex returned with a couple of more shot glasses. "Yes, I would have said that, but I had used an idiomatic phrase rather than a single verb-"

    "Vini," he sipped the alcohol, "I paid for your fashion show. I gave you whatever little inheritance I had. And I helped out with customizing your weapons. I thought I would condense all of the favors you owe me into this one act," his smirk overwhelmed his lush goatee.

    Mumbling something about blasting whichever constellations some angry Communion acolyte tinkered with, Vinitrex clasped Justyn's shoulders again. "You... clever puppeteer."

    They shared another smile and embrace.

    "Good day, Mr. Arthur! How is the madame?"

    "Heya, Aurora! Everyone's alright, thanks," a gruff beast patted the partner machine on the head.

    "What's Vini sellin' today?"

    The diminutive robot bowed and smiled, "He has a selection of photons today, and a pot of Neudaiz Noodles steaming in the kitchen."

    "Yeh? Think he's in?" Arthur scrutinized the shelves Aurora was dusting.

    "Yes, sir. But I think he is discussing something important now-"

    "He's changin' his outfit for his posh lunch, I bet. I got a cart of Koltova meat he might be interested in buying before the goods spoil, methinks. Oy! Vini!"

    "Ahem, heh, sir..." Aurora tried to block his way to the door. "I think it was rather personal and important, I heard him take some liquor-"

    "Yeh? The cheeky git was having a party without inviting me?" he unfolded a miraculously hidden compartment of his hakama. "He doesn't pay yeh enough, does he?"

    "Erm, sir, but," she brushed a five-thousand meseta bill from her hair. "...No, he doesn't," in a low voice and opened the door.

    "'Ave a good day, miss beautiful."

    Aurora's paint flushed a touch.

    "Oy! Vini! A party and an :):):):) and me and me darlin' weren't invited?!"

    The partner machine's processing cores automatically powered off to prevent overheating.

    "Justyn, I never thought of yeh to fancy takin' advantage of lightweights," Arthur roared in laughter.

    "Sorry to disappoint, but it's not your lucky day to film some blackmail to sell to the black market," he struggled to lift Vinitrex's head from his lap carefully. "He's a lightweight only when it comes to drinking. Can you help me before he gives me arthritis?"

    Arthur kicked the couch, "Rise an' shine, Vini boy! Maiden save the Queen, she's waitin' to 'ave her tea and biscuits!"

    A sort of guttural sound drooled from Vinitrex's mouth.

    "Was Vini trying a Distova flambé or something again?" he tried shaking.

    "Nah, I just dropped by for a visit."

    "Damnit, Justyn. Did you leave me some of the good stuff?" the beast quite characteristically gave up on diplomacy and rolled the aforementioned lightweight off the couch. He replaced Vinitrex on the couch. "That doesn't explain your creepy strokin' of his hair."

    "Grgh... what the -ugh..." he lethargically rubbed his back.

    "He had a bit too... little, and asked me to massage his 'aching sentimental slaughterhouse,'" Justyn worked out some wrinkles on his robes.

    Vinitrex was grumbling curses to all of the augers bloody beasts ride on crashing in with their dolorous odors, balancing himself on an Alterazscreen.

    Arthur crossed his arms and said, "Sometimes I think you're acting - you don't drink much. All those pants you wear castratin' yourself, methinks went to your head a bit."

    His head rolled and he glared sharply. "Then don't have the nerve to exist in your gaudiness next time," he spat and stumbled off to his personal bedroom.

    Justyn arched an eyebrow and muttered, "Who can blame him? Gurhal has no comfortable males." Picking up his cane, he retreated into the kitchen. "Actually, I'm glad you came. I wanted to talk to you."


    He returned and offered a bottle of beer. "I gave him a farewell gift."

    "Wait, what?"

    "I'm old," sitting down and setting his cane aside. "And this universe has nothing left."

    Arthur contemplated his beer for a moment, hoping to see his memories play out through the bottle.

    "It's not suicide."

    "Yeh?" he matched his eyes with Justyn's.

    "No, I'm just going to lock myself in my room and just wait."

    Confusion condescended into a thin sheen of tears, "Waiting? Why? I don't understand."

    Justyn let a reassuring smile crawl in. "It's pride," he patted Arthur's back.

    He blinked and turned his head. "Are you sure?"

    The newman let his hand linger, "Yes."

    Arthur sniffled and took a swig. "Gonna miss you."

    "I will miss you too," he folded his hands onto his cane.

    Half a bottle and a reminiscent silence later, Arthur wrapped his arm around the other's shoulders. "Say 'hi' to Mark for me."

    They admired their good times on the Alterazscreen, faintly smiling.

    Vinitrex dragged in carrying a solemn expression and an expensive-looking wine. "Gentlemen," he announced as he handed them some glasses of Chateau Montague Burgundy, "I would like to assume that I have right for a toast."

    "Yeh, he told me," Arthur forced a grin.

    Justyn's smile permitted Vinitrex to continue. "Photons pollute, strange phenomena occur, planets rot, and people transcend out of this misery. The GUARDIANS deteriorated and faded into mechanical repetitions. We saw this, and sought to eliminate the pacifying structures of order. In this, our chaos slowed time, it seems. Whatever holy light or guiding beacon shuns us now, and even the Dark Force feels his purpose ineffectual. Yet some of us cannot leave this world just yet. Chains of nostalgia shackle our hearts and force the remaining to survive. This is probably why friends are close and reluctant to sever their bonds."

    He inhaled and calmed his nerve, "Justyn, I envy your will to break those vain chains and soar to better tomorrows."

    The men lift their glasses and honor the mutual understanding. The silence breaks those chains and Vinitrex allowed himself a few tears.

    Justyn lowered his glass and choked a few words out, "You just have to make it difficult to leave, don't you?"

    "Ha, I think that's Vini's point," Arthur pursed his trembling lips into a smile.

    "Only if this life had a point."

    Vinitrex finally sat and embraced Justyn heartily and soon Arthur joined.

    "Hello! May I help you?"

    His reluctant muscles and heart made Vinitrex finally pull away when he heard Aurora greet a guest. Dabbing his eyes with a handkerchief, he said, "But life goes on, much to the lament of yesterday."

    Justyn began to say something, then thought against it.

    Arthur stood, "Yeh. You're right."

    Vinitrex cleaned his glasses and started to make for the front. At least, until a bulky CAST ran into him and anchored himself in the middle of the restaurant, inspecting.

    "Gravity is not my friend today" mumbled the words from Vinitrex's climbing stature. "Greetings!" he plastered a makeshift grin and bowed a slight dip. May I interest you in a steaming bowl of Neudaiz Noodles?"

    The CAST immediately swung his head and his sensors analyzed him. The men heard some clicking and decided to let an awkward moment pass and the robot darted down the corridor toward Vinitrex's bedroom.

    A couple of barraging thuds, and the CAST jogged across the restaurant again, seemingly unfazed, and past Aurora and out the front door.

    Vinitrex exaggerated milking an invisible beard and regarded the other two. "Gentlemen, eiye believe vee 'ahve fahunt ze meessing leenk!"

    Everyone broke out roaring. Even little Aurora gave herself allowance for giggling.

    "Oy, Professor, then why are they so powerful and popular?"

    "The reason for that," Justyn adjusted his monocle to read some nonexistent notes, "is because their highly advanced metals allow them superhuman endurance and the luxury of easy replacement!"

    "Yes," Vinitrex adjusted his glasses, "GRM officials had to somehow circumvent new laws for human-newman-beast rights, affectionately called the Honeybee rights, so they thought it a better investment to build programmable robots instead of hiring more honeybees and feeding them!"

    Even Aurora had to stop pushing the crates of Koltova meat and double over laughing.

    The comedy led to Neudaiz Noodles; the food led to a stroll through their memories; the gallery led to Vinitrex begging Justyn to reconsider the tournament; the begging led to drinking; and the drinking led to, somehow, a night spent on the couch heaped in a pile.

    Last edited by PsychDragoonX; 04-25-2012 at 09:12 AM.

  3. #3


    On second thought, I see many opportunities for improvements, and am working on them. Could the moderators please delete/lock this?

  4. #4
    Senior Member Z a c k's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2011


    I think you should make story using peoples characters in the game itself example:

    First post characters: have the character name and than a link to a picture of it than have the personality I can help you do a story like that if you want help in writing with the personality is what the person who's character it is wants.

    Example: of the character thingy:

    Anyhow if you want to make a story with me let me know, this sounds like a interesting way to make a story tbh of course players will be good, evil, and whatever else we can think of. Woot, also each character will be in a spoiler like the example we can make the story on a different and copy and paste when we are done I suggest me doing that since I know the controls on the forums well.

  5. #5


    Thank you for your suggestion. Sorry, I will no longer be pursuing this fanfic for obvious reasons. ^^;


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