"Altered" (Unfinished Fanfic)

[The Cunning Condor]

Not too long ago, I started writing a Sonic fanfic. I only wrote the beginning of it though and haven't progressed on it in about a month. But after showing it to DaGamer, I think I might get back on it soon. I thought I'd share with y'all what I have so far and see what you think.

~~~~~~~~~~~~


A corpse of metal lay motionless on the floor, its limbs scattered around the vast room. What was once an iron colossus had been reduced to dented scrap in a matter of minutes. With some effort involved, it's head flew open as smoke made its way out, followed by a man. Coughing and with his red coat slightly tattered, he managed to exit the machine. He dizzily stumbled down the massive clump of wreckage.

A few feet from him stood a smirking figure whose appearance resembled that of any normal man. However it was clear that no simple man could cause such destruction in such a short time. His body was blue and somewhat short, his ears pointed atop his head, behind them were blade like spines, and he boasted a pair of red sneakers.

"I dunno about you..." the figure spoke, "But I think your model there had a few flaws in its design."

The blue figure spoke in a tone brimming with confidence and he couldn't seem to stop smiling as he stood above the heavily-shaped man who was at his knees in defeat. The man's teeth clamped together in anger below his unusually thick mustache as his eyes filled with rage behind his circular glasses.

"You think you've won...?" the man hissed, still exhausted from defeat.

"Uh..." the blue figure briefly turned towards the wreckage. "Sure looks like it, Egghead."

The man, still at his knees, slowly reached for his pocket.

"Uh, what are y--?"

Before the words could escape the blue creature's mouth, his eyes widened as he found himself staring into the barrel of the gun that was pointed to his head. It took a split second for the blue hedgehog to run off, only to suddenly find himself hovering in place. He had been imprisoned in what appeared to be a large bubble of some sort. The round man stood up.

"Haven't quite come up with a decent name for it yet, but I call it the 'Capture Gun'."

Inside the bubble, the hedgehog appeared to have curled up and began rapidly bouncing within the spherical prison.

The man chuckled as he place the gun back into his pocket.
"Don't waste your energy, Sonic. It's field cannot be penetrated."
He began to walk out of the room with the bubble following him as he went.
"I'm quite disappointed that you didn't assume that."

The two stepped inside a nearby elevator.

"Okay, what is this? What are you doing Eggman?"

Smiling, he replied, "All in good time, Sonic." as the elevator descended.

Once the elevator came to a halt, the doors opened. Eggman stepped in the room, the bubble still following behind him with Sonic still imprisoned. The room was virtually empty, containing nothing but a large control panel and a menacing glass chamber. As Eggman stepped in front of the panel, the bubble containing the blue hedgehog made its way above the cylindrical chamber.

The bubble lowered itself into the container and evaporated as the chamber closed, leaving Sonic trapped once more in the glass tube. He felt his anger slowly turn to fear. Acting quickly, he again began to rapidly bounce around the prison in an effort to escape.

"Again, impenetrable." said Eggman, with his eyes focused on the control panel. "I know you can't be that simple-minded."

"What is this thing, Eggman?" said Sonic, doing his best to remain calm.

"Well the days of trying to kill you with robots and machines has worn thin..." Eggaman replied. "So I decided to use a simpler method of disposing of you."

Still making an effort to contain his fear, the hedgehog spoke. "S-So what's this freaky doohickey supposed to do, huh?"

"It'll mess with your brain cells. You'll probably die of a massive tumor or some sort of mutation. I really don't care by now. I just want you dead." Eggman spoke with little emotion.

Sonic felt his insides sink. "E-Eggman, hold o-- wait..."

"I've waited enough, child."

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Your thoughts?

[Blackeyedsonic]

I like it

[The Cunning Condor]

I'm gonna see if I can progress on it this week...

[DaGamer14]

Yay more progress!

[The Cunning Condor]

Not sure how much exactly though. i might just wrap up this chapter.

[The Deleter]

Wow, that was alot better than most fanfics of the same type. You have talent! 9.75/10
Keep going, and you might become my favorite fanfic writer!

[The Cunning Condor]

Wow, that was alot better than most fanfics of the same type. You have talent! 9.75/10
Keep going, and you might become my favorite fanfic writer!

Wow, thanks! Thing is that writing is a hard thing to do. I might try and get back on it tomorrow... I won't be able to add much though seeing as this chapters almost done already.

[The Doctor]

Ite really good, one of the better fanfics I've seen in a while, course, I haven't read many in a while, so this one is really good.

[The Cunning Condor]

Finally finished up Chapter 1!


~~~~~~~~~

Immediately, as he activated the chamber, Eggman felt as if a boulder had struck against his head. He collapsed to the floor. seeing only a yellow creature and a pink figure wielding a massive mallet before blacking out.

As Eggman lay unconscious on the floor, the pink hedgehog began putting all of her effort into destroying the chamber that still held Sonic as he was at his knees trying to keep his head together. Meanwhile, the yellow fox was tampering with the control panel in hopes of shutting it down.

"Miles, can't you open this?!" the pink girl screamed in a a panic.

The Factory began to rumble as Miles swiftly glanced across the panel with his eyes, desperately looking for what could be a shut off switch to the chamber.

"Got it!" he said as he finally located it. He looked up as the chamber shut down and opened as Sonic got himself up, his head still spinning. His friends went over and helped him to his feet.

"Are you all right, Sonic?" the girl worriedly asked.

"Yeah, just... just woozy. I can walk." Sonic replied.

"Walking isn't going to be good enough." said Miles as the factory continued to rumble. "I rigged the core of the factory. It's set to explode in a little more than a minute."

Sonic was still doing what he could to make the room stop spinning. As they began to make their way out of the room, Sonic briefly turned his attention to the still unconscious round man.

"What about Eggman?" he asked.

Many people could never understand why, but despite all the chaos the scientist had caused in all the years they've been enemies. Sonic couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. The way he saw it, everyone had a bit of good in them and Sonic simply couldn't let anyone die.

"Look, Sonic," Miles replied. "What's important is that we get you out of here, okay?"

Sonic looked back at the man who stirring as if he was coming back to his conscious state.

Sonic let out a short sigh. "You're right. Come on." Sonic curled up once more and shot himself towards the steel wall like a bullet, tearing a hole to the other side.

As his friends made their way through, an automated voice spoke over the intercom.

"WARNING: Explosion imminent. Factory will self-destruct in sixty seconds."

Red lights flared everywhere as the factory's alarms buzzed. Sonic noticed several robots roughly his size in the room. They were colored with red and orange and looked almost as if they were miniature replicas of the scientist himself. They were running with panic towards a massive door that was slowly closing from the top.

"There's our exit!" Sonic spoke with his confidence regained. He swooped up the pink girl. "Hold on tight, Amy." he said as he sprinted towards the door with great speed. Miles followed a few feet behind him, flying in the air using his two tails as if they were a turbine. Sonic kept blasting his way to the other side of the room, looking back at Miles to stay sure he was keeping up. Feeling concerned, he slowed down a bit to allow him to catch up. Sonic extended his arm and quickly grabbed the fox's hand.

"You need to learn how to fly faster, man." Sonic said with a smile.

He sped up noticing the door was just a few feet from closing.

"Hold on, guys!" Sonic bent himself slightly backwards to make his way under the door, quickly swinging Miles out before it slammed shut, crushing one of Eggman's scouts.

Sonic paused to make sure everyone made it out in one piece as several robots around them continued running away in a panic.

"Everyone okay?" Sonic asked.

Miles dusted himself off. "Yeah, I'm fine." he said as he continued on. "Come on. The Tornado is down here!"

As the group sped off, Eggman was running through the factory halls.

"Computer! Activate my escape pod!"

"WARNING: Factory will self-destruct in thirty seconds."

Eggman activated a radio device on his wrist. "Snively! Where are you?!"

"Waiting at the escape pods, sir!" the lackey responded.

"Don't start the pod until I get there or I'll skin you alive!"

Sonic, Miles, and Amy made their way to the biplane. Miles hopped in the front seat.

"Hurry! Get in! Get in!" he yelled as he started the engine.

In the factory, Eggman finally reached the the egg-shaped escape capsule where Snively was waiting in a panic.

"WARNING: Factory will self-destruct in fifteen seconds."

"Start the launch! Start the launch!" Eggman yelled as he ran into the pod.

"What do I set the coordinates to? Where are we going?"

"Idon'tknowtheeggfleetjustgetusoutofhere!!!"

Outside the factory, the Tornado lifted off as Sonic and his friends cheered.

"Whoo! Nice job, Tails!" Sonic said as he gave him a thumbs up.

"Ten."

"Snively! Shut the door and start the blasted pod!!"

"Nine."

"Lifting off now sir!"

"Eight."

The two strapped themselves into their seats.

"Seven."

They felt the pod begin to lift.

"Six."

The factory began to violently tremble.

"Five."

The pod blasted off.

"Four."

"We made it, sir!"

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

Sonic heard a deafening blast from behind the Tornado. He looked back and saw rubble from the factory fly in all directions as several robots scattered to avoid meeting their demise. Many were not so lucky and were left to be crushed in the massive wave of fire and metal.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~



This would be so much cooler if it was a comic or a movie. Anyway, that's Chapter 1. But be aware that this isn't a simple opening. This chapter has several foreshadows (some of them hidden) of what is to come later in the story. Hope y'all enjoy!

[The Cunning Condor]

Might as well combine the two so I can give you Chapter 1 as a whole.


~~~~~~~~

Chapter 1: Imprisoned


A corpse of metal lay motionless on the floor, its limbs scattered around the vast room. What was once an iron colossus had been reduced to dented scrap in a matter of minutes. With some effort involved, it's head flew open as smoke made its way out, followed by a man. Coughing and with his red coat slightly tattered, he managed to exit the machine. He dizzily stumbled down the massive clump of wreckage.

A few feet from him stood a smirking figure whose appearance resembled that of any normal man. However it was clear that no simple man could cause such destruction in such a short time. His body was blue and somewhat short, his ears pointed atop his head, behind them were blade like spines, and he boasted a pair of red sneakers.

"I dunno about you..." the figure spoke, "But I think your model there had a few flaws in its design."

The blue figure spoke in a tone brimming with confidence and he couldn't seem to stop smiling as he stood above the heavily-shaped man who was at his knees in defeat. The man's teeth clamped together in anger below his unusually thick mustache as his eyes filled with rage behind his circular glasses.

"You think you've won...?" the man hissed, still exhausted from defeat.

"Uh..." the blue figure briefly turned towards the wreckage. "Sure looks like it, Egghead."

The man, still at his knees, slowly reached for his pocket.

"Uh, what are y--?"

Before the words could escape the blue creature's mouth, his eyes widened as he found himself staring into the barrel of the gun that was pointed to his head. It took a split second for the blue hedgehog to run off, only to suddenly find himself hovering in place. He had been imprisoned in what appeared to be a large bubble of some sort. The round man stood up.

"Haven't quite come up with a decent name for it yet, but I call it the 'Capture Gun'."

Inside the bubble, the hedgehog appeared to have curled up and began rapidly bouncing within the spherical prison.

The man chuckled as he place the gun back into his pocket.
"Don't waste your energy, Sonic. It's field cannot be penetrated."
He began to walk out of the room with the bubble following him as he went.
"I'm quite disappointed that you didn't assume that."

The two stepped inside a nearby elevator.

"Okay, what is this? What are you doing Eggman?"

Smiling, he replied, "All in good time, Sonic." as the elevator descended.

Once the elevator came to a halt, the doors opened. Eggman stepped in the room, the bubble still following behind him with Sonic still imprisoned. The room was virtually empty, containing nothing but a large control panel and a menacing glass chamber. As Eggman stepped in front of the panel, the bubble containing the blue hedgehog made its way above the cylindrical chamber.

The bubble lowered itself into the container and evaporated as the chamber closed, leaving Sonic trapped once more in the glass tube. He felt his anger slowly turn to fear. Acting quickly, he again began to rapidly bounce around the prison in an effort to escape.

"Again, impenetrable." said Eggman, with his eyes focused on the control panel. "I know you can't be that simple-minded."

"What is this thing, Eggman?" said Sonic, doing his best to remain calm.

"Well the days of trying to kill you with robots and machines has worn thin..." Eggaman replied. "So I decided to use a simpler method of disposing of you."

Still making an effort to contain his fear, the hedgehog spoke. "S-So what's this freaky doohickey supposed to do, huh?"

"It'll mess with your brain cells. You'll probably die of a massive tumor or some sort of mutation. I really don't care by now. I just want you dead." Eggman spoke with little emotion.

Sonic felt his insides sink. "E-Eggman, hold o-- wait..."

"I've waited enough, child."

Immediately, as he activated the chamber, Eggman felt as if a boulder had struck against his head. He collapsed to the floor seeing only a yellow creature and a pink figure wielding a massive mallet before blacking out.

As Eggman lay unconscious on the floor, the pink hedgehog began putting all of her effort into destroying the chamber that still held Sonic as he was at his knees trying to keep his head together. Meanwhile, the yellow fox was tampering with the control panel in hopes of shutting it down.

"Miles, can't you open this?!" the pink girl screamed in a a panic.

The Factory began to rumble as Miles swiftly glanced across the panel with his eyes, desperately looking for what could be a shut off switch to the chamber.

"Got it!" he said as he finally located it. He looked up as the chamber shut down and opened as Sonic got himself up, his head still spinning. His friends went over and helped him to his feet.

"Are you all right, Sonic?" the girl worriedly asked.

"Yeah, just... just woozy. I can walk." Sonic replied.

"Walking isn't going to be good enough." said Miles as the factory continued to rumble. "I rigged the core of the factory. It's set to explode in a little more than a minute."

Sonic was still doing what he could to make the room stop spinning. As they began to make their way out of the room, Sonic briefly turned his attention to the still unconscious round man.

"What about Eggman?" he asked.

Many people could never understand why, but despite all the chaos the scientist had caused in all the years they've been enemies. Sonic couldn't help but feel sympathy for him. The way he saw it, everyone had a bit of good in them and Sonic simply couldn't let anyone die.

"Look, Sonic," Miles replied. "What's important is that we get you out of here, okay?"

Sonic looked back at the man who stirring as if he was coming back to his conscious state.

Sonic let out a short sigh. "You're right. Come on." Sonic curled up once more and shot himself towards the steel wall like a bullet, tearing a hole to the other side.

As his friends made their way through, an automated voice spoke over the intercom.

"WARNING: Explosion imminent. Factory will self-destruct in sixty seconds."

Red lights flared everywhere as the factory's alarms buzzed. Sonic noticed several robots roughly his size in the room. They were colored with red and orange and looked almost as if they were miniature replicas of the scientist himself. They were running with panic towards a massive door that was slowly closing from the top.

"There's our exit!" Sonic spoke with his confidence regained. He swooped up the pink girl. "Hold on tight, Amy." he said as he sprinted towards the door with great speed. Miles followed a few feet behind him, flying in the air using his two tails as if they were a turbine. Sonic kept blasting his way to the other side of the room, looking back at Miles to stay sure he was keeping up. Feeling concerned, he slowed down a bit to allow him to catch up. Sonic extended his arm and quickly grabbed the fox's hand.

"You need to learn how to fly faster, man." Sonic said with a smile.

He sped up noticing the door was just a few feet from closing.

"Hold on, guys!" Sonic bent himself slightly backwards to make his way under the door, quickly swinging Miles out before it slammed shut, crushing one of Eggman's scouts.

Sonic paused to make sure everyone made it out in one piece as several robots around them continued running away in a panic.

"Everyone okay?" Sonic asked.

Miles dusted himself off. "Yeah, I'm fine." he said as he continued on. "Come on. The Tornado is down here!"

As the group sped off, Eggman was running through the factory halls.

"Computer! Activate my escape pod!"

"WARNING: Factory will self-destruct in thirty seconds."

Eggman activated a radio device on his wrist. "Snively! Where are you?!"

"Waiting at the escape pods, sir!" the lackey responded.

"Don't start the pod until I get there or I'll skin you alive!"

Sonic, Miles, and Amy made their way to the biplane. Miles hopped in the front seat.

"Hurry! Get in! Get in!" he yelled as he started the engine.

In the factory, Eggman finally reached the the egg-shaped escape capsule where Snively was waiting in a panic.

"WARNING: Factory will self-destruct in fifteen seconds."

"Start the launch! Start the launch!" Eggman yelled as he ran into the pod.

"What do I set the coordinates to? Where are we going?"

"Idon'tknowtheeggfleetjustgetusoutofhere!!!"

Outside the factory, the Tornado lifted off as Sonic and his friends cheered.

"Whoo! Nice job, Tails!" Sonic said as he gave him a thumbs up.

"Ten."

"Snively! Shut the door and start the blasted pod!!"

"Nine."

"Lifting off now sir!"

"Eight."

The two strapped themselves into their seats.

"Seven."

They felt the pod begin to lift.

"Six."

The factory began to violently tremble.

"Five."

The pod blasted off.

"Four."

"We made it, sir!"

"Three."

"Two."

"One."

Sonic heard a deafening blast from behind the Tornado. He looked back and saw rubble from the factory fly in all directions as several robots scattered to avoid meeting their demise. Many were not so lucky and were left to be crushed in the massive wave of fire and metal.