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Thread: Inuyasha vs. Sonic

  1. #1
    Senior Member Soniclogic567's Avatar
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    Default Inuyasha vs. Sonic

    Short story hope you like it. Tell me what you think.

    Inuyasha was walking through the forest of feudal japan, until all of a sudden a great flash of green light illuminated the area."What the...!"Inuyasha said as the light temperaily blinded him. From the green light came a blue figure shocked and confused.

    "Where am I? Crap, this the fifth time this week will I ever get a hang of Chaos Control?"Inuyasha as thick headed as he is came to one conclusion after seeing this sight.

    "Who are you, some kind of demon?"Sonic looked to Inuyasha.

    "Huh, names Sonic the Hedgehog what are you talking about I'm no such thing but what about you dog ears!"

    Inuyasha is offended by his statement."Its Inuyasha to you punk! Your the perfect demon I can take my anger out on since I lost the jewel shards. Prepare to die!" Inuyasha raises his hands in a battle ready position and attacks."Hey!"Sonic without much time to respond prepares to dodge Inuyasha.

    "Iron Reaver Soul Stealer!" Inuyasha screamed as he aimed for Sonic's face.

    Sonic flips to side giving his usually witty banter."WHOA!! Grandma what big claws you have!"
    "Who's in the bread box kicking out dough? Owl is in the bread box kicking out dough~"

  2. #2
    Senior Member Soniclogic567's Avatar
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    Gotta go I'll definately finish this story tommorow.
    "Who's in the bread box kicking out dough? Owl is in the bread box kicking out dough~"

  3. #3
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    So why the hell did Sonic just appear out of nowhere? And what's the main plot and problem?

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    Quote Originally Posted by funkymonkey2K6
    So why the hell did Sonic just appear out of nowhere? And what's the main plot and problem?
    Apparently he chaos controlled there, which doesn't explain jack squat anyway.

    This story is bogus. It's plain out bad, beyond belief.

    First off, get some writting lessons, you don't specify who is saying what at all, save for a few occurences. I had to guess what was going on the whole way through, which is freaking annoying by the way.

    Try using some commas or something, the first bit of speech where Sonic says, "Where am I? ***, this the fifth time this week will I ever get a hang of Chaos Control?" You need a comma between "week" and "will". Same thing happens a couple more times.

    You also should have censored the curse properly so we can tell what he's saying.

    3/10 This sucks, there's no plot, your grammar stinks, and you don't even know how to specify a speaking character.

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