Camera pans up to reveal Private Alexander running to the Orange Base
Alexander: Ryan! Ryan! The rookie's here!
Ryan: Dammit! Why did they have to send a rookie? Wasn't command happy with just you, me, and Sarge?
Alexander: Dude, when it was just you, me, and Sarge we just stood around doing nothing.
Ryan: And how's a rookie gonna help that?
Alexander: I dunno, man. Let's go!
Camera shifts over to reveal Private John and Private Zach standing on the Blue Base
Zach: You find 'em yet?
John: Will you stop asking me that! God! I told you a million times it takes some time. Ok? Just...give me some time.
Zach: Yah, ok. Sorry.
John: Thank you!
Zach: What about if I-
John: God dammit, Zach! Five minutes! Just five minutes is all I ask!
Zach: Fine. I'm sorry...I'm just bored, you know? And when I get bored I kind of-
John: Wait, shut up. I found them!
Zach: Sweet! What are they doing?
John: They're just...standing there...talking to some guy.
Zach: The sergeant?
John: No. At least I don't think so.
Zach: You've never seen him before?
John: Zach! I've never even seen the people we're supposed to kill before! It just doesn't look like the sergeant.
Zach: ...maybe it's a rookie.
John: I dunno...maybe. Speaking of rookies, when's ours getting here?
Zach: Whoa, whoa! Wait! Since when were we getting a rookie?
John: Since, like, last month.
Zach: Well, nobody tells me these things!
John: We do! You just never listen!
Zach: ...I'm sorry. What did you say?
Camera shifts back over to Private Alexander and Private O' Ryan standing on the Orange Base with the rookie.
Ryan: Ok, rookie, what's your status?
Rookie: Private Simmons reporting for duty! I've been told to speak to the sergeant as soon as I get here!
Ryan: Well, Sarge is out right now but he told us to give a rundown on the place.
Simmons: Ok, cool.
Ryan: Sooooo...this is the Orange Base. I'm Private O' Ryan and over there's Private Alexander.
Ryan: Over there, that building there, is where we sleep. I have upstairs and you and Alexander get downstairs. The building over there is where Sarge sleeps. He's pretty cool if you need to ask him a question. You just have to ask it right.
Simmons: How do I ask it right?
Alexander: Don't ask him at all!
Ryan: So, anyway. Across the way, all the way over there is the Blue Team. We've never really seen them before.
Simmons: I thought this is a war.
Ryan: It is.
Simmons: Then aren't we supposed to be...you know...fighting?
Alexander: Well sometimes we'll fight over who gets the last strip of bacon.
Simmons: ...I met with the Blue Team.
Alexander: Oh, them? We've never seen them.
Simmons: Then what the hell are we doing here?!
Ryan: Yah, I ask myself that question every day of my life.
Simmons: Um...ok...what do we eat here?
Simmons: Yes. Eat. As in "food"!
Ryan: We usually eat anything we can find. Like...bugs, dirt, and crap like that.
Simmons: Seriously? That's disgusting! Dare I ask what we drink?
Alexander: Rain water.
Simmons: What if it doesn't rain?
Ryan: Then, well, we make our own drink...if you know what I mean.
Simmons: Ah! That's disgusting...do we have to drink each other's...you know...
Alexander: No. We label ours. Don't worry.
Simmons: Man, I have a bad feeling I'm gonna hate it here.
Ryan: Yah, I had the same feeling.
Simmons: Does it go away?
Camera shifts back over to Private John and Private Zach standing on the Blue Base.
Zach: What are they doing now?
Zach: I said, what are they doing now?
John: God, Zach, will you stop asking me that question!
Zach: Hey! You're the one with the Fareye! I can't see crap! So don't go crying to me 'cause I'm not gonna sit here-
John: Ok, ok! There just...standing there and talking! That's all they ever do is just stand around and talk! Ok?! Are you happy now?!